Tarot Mama

For a few years now, I've been secretly, and not always fondly, calling myself the Turtle. Sometimes I manage to peek my head out of my shell, but mostly I hide. Things are changing. My shell is becoming uncomfortable. Bit by bit, I am peeking my head out more often. I am learning to use the Voice I'd been taught to believe was not truly my own. Sometimes, when I peek out my head and speak my Truth, I am met with rejection, anger, or disgust. It's no wonder I often find myself drawing back inside for safety's sake.

Day by day, month by month, year by year, I am beginning to see that what I thought was True was an illusion, that I am far stronger than I ever could have imagined. I'm scared so much of the time, and I've got the shrink's diagnoses (yep, plural) to prove it. Thing is, I'm becoming a little less invested in the reactions of others. A little. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Tonight, I took not one, not two, but three steps, which honestly, couldn't be described as baby-sized by anyone! Talk about terrified. The results were so far removed from what I expected, from what I've been taught by my fears (a.k.a. Gremlins) to anticipate. Turns out in taking those three steps, I was given the courage to take a giant leap. In spite of being advised not to do so by three beloved, gorgeous, loving people, I think it's way past time for me to push my head all of the way out. Some folks won't like it. That's okay. Some folks will say, "What's the big deal?" And, they'll be right. This world is filled with so many gorgeous Souls and so many wonderful and colorful perspectives. I'm blessed to be one of them.

And so, without further ado....*drum roll*

I would like to formally thank the Goddess for the priceless and beautifully precious gift She gave me tonight. I was feeling lost, afraid, and horribly alone. She compelled me to reach out to an old schoolmate. In the midst of the conversation, She nudged me to tell this dear friend (a Southern Baptist) about my new-to-her, Wiccan beliefs. I shared how the gentle nature of this Earth religion has nurtured me. I explained how the tenet of "harming none" is a balm to my heart. I was so scared of rejection, but my friend accepted me as she always has: from that first day in seventh grade when I (the nerdy outcast) was alone and she befriended me. I'm crying again tonight, but right now, in this precious moment, my tears are of joy and gratitude. I have been touched by Grace.

Blessed Be,

Trenda

Congratulations to Nolwenn P., winner of the Double Scoop of Yummy Goodness Contest! Nolwenn, I hope you find your reading to be both insightful and encouraging.

Nolwenn's Query ~ What can I do to improve who I am, and by knowing so, to share my mission?

Nolwenn's Deck ~ Tarot of the Magical Forest by Lo Scarabeo

~ Nolwenn's Reading ~

Card One: Past ~ Justice ~ The Justice card's number is eleven (XI), and so it bridges the first ten cards (metaphysical) of the Major Arcana with the next (physical). When we think of Justice, we think of balance, as evidenced by the scales in the Crocodile Godmother's hand. In her other hand, she holds the sword of truth. Her gaze is clear, direct, and unwavering. The Justice card isn't about judgment but about balance and adjustment. You are applauded for learning in the recent past to spend equal time in both realms: physical (career, relationships, material needs, goals) with your inner realm (the self, intuition, emotions, dreams). By making this conscious choice to be aware of your inner and outer worlds, you have strengthened your personal power and have embraced your Voice. In doing this, you have learned lessons which others have yet to learn. Part of your purpose lies in teaching and inspiring others to seek awareness and balance within and between both aspects of their Beings.

Card Two: Present ~ Three of Chalices ~ The Empress rules over the threes, for she is the archetype which represents creation. The pumpkin in the foreground, as well as the grapes, evoke the symbol of the harvest. The chalices are attuned with water and are associated with emotions, intuition, love, and relationships. In the present, you are reaching out with your heart, with your True Self, to others. You are building supportive relationships in which you can grow and learn with your new friends. You understand that we are all one. Partnering with others in the area of your life's work is suggested by this card. In particular, other like-minded, similarly soul-focused women can walk with you on this journey of fulfilling your life purpose. Continue to be aware of who you are at your core. Do not become focused on outward appearances and situations. Trust in your power as a co-creator and your ability to envision and manifest the life you feel drawn to bring into reality. You will be an example to others who need help believing in their innate abilities as powerful creators.

Card Three: Future ~ Queen of Wands ~ Because wands are attuned with fire, we can see them as representing passion and creativity. The Queens are the ones who make things real, for they too are about creativity. You are encouraged to embrace your own creative gifts, skills, and nature, for you bless yourself and others through the things which you bring into being. Do you enjoy the arts? Written expression? Visualization? Follow your passions. Embrace growth in all its forms and be willing to develop both emotionally and physically. Trust your intuition and know she will not steer you wrong. Now is the time for you to make real the things of which you have so often dreamed. When you make the conscious choice to trust yourself, to believe in the voice within which calls you to create, you not only carve a beautiful path for yourself; but, you also set an inspiring example for those who wish to learn from you. We all have dreams. Believing in them can be a bit easier when someone else is willing to show us the process, journey, and ultimate success of their own passionate endeavors. For example, a woman who has dreamt of starting her own creativity-based business, but is unsure of where to start or how to make her "baby" a success, will feel empowered by the tips and tales shared by other female entrepreneurs.

I'm hearing your Guides shout, "Go for it!" with fists joyfully and proudly punching the air.

Wondering

how many times music has saved my life.

When the darkness within my mind

holds my head beneath the frozen waters,

Spirit rescues me

with words and sounds,

calling to me

with Her gentle but insistent Voice,

breathing life

back into my being,

and compelling me to believe

my Light is still aflame.

~Trenda Plunkett, August 26, 2010

For this, and so much more, I am grateful. Blessed be.